Cards

Fibroids

“Its like rehearsal for giving birth”
“I had cesarean birth for my childbirth too, it’s okay”
“Its a common operation”
“Less than 1% chance of being cancerous”

I was overwhelmed recently while making a decision. So much comments, some kindly given, some carelessly given.

I would like to make a clear distinction.

When you go to birth a child, you come home with yes, the pain of recovery, but you don’t come home alone as you’re bringing your love bundle into the world. Basically, you come home to a party.

For those exploring options for fibroids, the search is pretty scattered, so here’s a summary of options from what I have learnt, I don’t proclaim to know all the facts, so please do your own due diligence.

  1. HIFU (High Intensity Focused Ultrasound)
    My preferred option due to the fast recovery and non invasive method. I have found that this is commonly utilized in China and I have heard of a case with 100% removal of 5cm in China, but it is only known for purpose of shrinkage purpose in Singapore from 30-40% ( I heard and don’t proclaim to know it all). This is what I know in Singapore, there seems to be at least 2 known practitioners, both previously from KKH. I was really keen on this procedure but was not able to proceed as it is not covered by insurance. I was told that before Dec’2020, it was covered by some insurers than it was put on hold by MOH. In May’2021 it was approved for usage again, however no insurers covers this procedure at the moment and the cost starts from $8K.
  2. MRgFUS
    I found this article on Magnetic Resonance-Guided Focused Ultrasound Surgery (MRgFUS) of Uterine Fibroids in Singapore and I wrote to the author of the published article. Apparently the machine at SGH and KKH has been decommissioned.
  3. Laparoscopic
    There was a case in US where a patient’s fibroid was a stage 1, somehow when it was shredded for removal, it was spread unknowingly. Apparently the action upgraded the cancer level due to area of spread. You can google along this thread “laparoscopic fibroid removal may spread unseen cancer”. Secondly the mincer/ shredder seems to be retired.
  4. Open abdominal
    Finally the only available choice. Longest down time, most painful, most expansive and most invasive. Get a good surgeon who know what you want and cares.

Tips for preparation of your surgery or things to bring if you will be inpatient:
-Get some postpartum mesh panties, it is way more comfortable (I got mine from asterbaby on shoppee)
-Bring some wingless pads
-Bring a thermal cup for your late night sips as post surgery, I experienced major throat irritation from the intubation which causes coughing (imagine this with the stiches-unbelievable pain)
-Make sure your house is prepared for when you are checked-out, as the major pains last about a week+, longer than childbirth as removal involves cutting muscles and caesarean births’ cut can be at the thinnest part of the womb. In my opinion, I took way too much pain killers and was still in pain.
Order food delivery, wear disposables, keep warm. Receive the love from around you.
-Lastly, go the easy way as much as you can.

For anyone finding more information, I wish you all the best.

Lucky am i.

Image is from: https://www.pixaura.com/all-you-need-is-faith-trust-and-pixie-dust/

I am lucky and in moments, some dark moments, I get reminded of this.

I believe that we are given more of some so that we can focus on the rest in life, the things that we have to learn at this point of time. I believe I am lucky to have exactly what I need in life. What I need comes to me, I am in no lack. I was recently told that I am a simpleton and I agree.

Just what is luck and what is being lucky?

From my point of view, luck is an ease in life to have what you need, when you need some additional advice, information, companionship and life just sprinkles it on you, when you need and ask for it. So luck in my view is getting exactly what you need. It does not mean you have perfection, it does not mean you are perfection, just you get what you need. Like I will be the most helpless handywomen in Singapore, so I am very blessed and lucky to have my husband who can fix everything (and anything, even mi)!

I believe that I am lucky and God always takes care of me. Hence Lucky is also my self belief.

What are the self beliefs that you have?

What to do if you suspect that you have been scammed?

A quick checklist if you encountered a dubious supplier/ retailer. I wrote this from experience and everyone’s experience could be different, so I don’t claim to know everything. I only try to write this as a form of collected resource.

I only knew I was scammed after they blocked our calls, ignored the small claims tribunal summons and when other victims came to me about their experience. First word of advice, if you are shopping and buying furniture, if the shop does not have their shop name listed on Google (such as Google review), their shop has no website, their signboard looks like it can be changed anytime, their brochure has no company name and only address. It is likely that they are fly by night and has no regards or pride for their company. Secondly, when you tell them your furniture requirements, they only write down a few things, no dimensions, no drawings and ask you to pay. You can be assured that they have no intention of giving you what you requested for in your colour, shape and dimension. So be aware and vigilant, not everyone is as honest as you are.

  1. Make a police report. The reason I recommend this first is that the police report are accepted as true information as any false police report will face the below:
  2. Call your credit card company to raise a dispute. What this does is that the bank will hold the money payment to the retailer, as long as you report it within 120 days. The bank will send you a form, fill it up and get a ticket number to know that it has been lodged.
  3. Document all your interaction with retailer/supplier and it falls on you to return the goods. “Consumer must return the goods and attempt to resolve with the business”
    • Written correspondences of attempt(s) to resolve dispute with the business
    • Date and proof that merchandise/service had been returned or cancelled
    • For partially utilized goods or services, provide documentation on the
      calculated unused amount
    • Read more here
  4. If at this point you are unable to resolve, you can go to CASE for mediation, there is a charge. But in my experience, CASE is not useful and I would skip it unless you require further documentation to proof that you tried to resolve it with the supplier
  5. Submit to Small Claims Tribunal at https://www.statecourts.gov.sg/cws/SmallClaims/Pages/LodgingaClaim.aspx
  6. Please note that I would like to give you a few pointers about SCT submission
  7. My first submission had to be withdrawn/ cancelled as I had indicate the name of the owners in ACRA. You can only indicate the name of the company. (I wasted a further 2 months to get my case heard in SCT again)
  8. After SCT awards a judgement, it falls on you to get back your money. If you had paid via credit card, please submit your SCT judgement to your credit card company together with you dispute case number.
  9. After the judgement, I could not get my money back and I did a few things:
    • Magistrate’s order
    • Wrote to my credit card bank
    • Made a second police report to document it
    • Hired debt collector (This does not work for those who have nothing to lose)
    • Got a free lawyer consultation with those organization such as pro bono etc. Anyway after waiting 1 month for my consultation, the lawyer/student just read me the options from the SCT website. So it was not useful, don’t waste your time.
  10. I was luck and thankful that I had my refund back from the bank, but there’s still many from the group who did not had refunds and worst, had to deal with paying more to do rectification to their electrical and glued tiles (their toilet tiles was glued on with superglue, yes you read it right)

#smallclaims #SCT #smallclaimstriburnal #claims #triburnal #small #singapore #fraud #howtoclaimfrauds #scam #doespolicereportwork #case #chargeback #tanboonliat #furniturescam #renovationscam #ACRA #ACRAwrongaddress

By the way, if their address is wrong on ARCA, you can report it, as it is a statutory breech:
Why report wrong address on ACRA: https://www.acra.gov.sg/how-to-guides/lodging-complaints/lodging-a-complaint-for-suspected-statutory-breaches
Report wrong ACRA address: https://www.acra.gov.sg/docs/default-source/default-document-library/how-to-guides/lodging-complaints/complaintform_062016.pdf

Taking our rightful place

Have you ever experienced this feeling where you are playing a role, a responsibility that is not yours? Sometimes I feel like I am not me. Xxx is like this this this… does that that that.

I realized the importance of taking our own rightful place in our family. Each sequence has their own role to fulfil and the strength to fulfil. If you’re second placed and want to perform the role of the eldest, you will find something lacking, I am sure you can drum up the will to fulfil the role, but that naturalness, that flow, because it was never your, it will always be missing. This is something I struggled with for many years in my life, a role I tried so hard to fulfill, but I release myself now from the roles I say I should be.

I am simply not the eldest, the eldest didn’t make it. And because I am not him, I don’t have that “authority” and natural flow. I am simply the second child of the family, the natural bridge, the natural peace-maker, the love master and the one whose purpose in the family is to bring it some form of unity.

It sounds funny as I say this. Unity, I look like I am breaking unity in most of the things I do, seeking truth without emotions, without regarding others’ emotions. But without truth, I simply cant be in flow. The fact of the matter is, the biggest struggle you have in life, is the one hiding your greatest gift.

My biggest struggle in life is relationships. My most gifted area is relationships too, I just set out the narrative and blueprint to learn it all early. I honor my truth.

#brokenfamily #healing #familyconstellations #rightplace

“No one lights a lamp in order to hide it behind the door…”

“No one lights a lamp in order to hide it behind the door: the purpose of light is to create more light, to open people’s eyes, to reveal the marvels around.”
HERON RYAN, FORTY-FOUR, JOURNALIST
From “The Witch of Portobello” by Paulo Coelho

So many are called to search for the light, some heard it, some took some steps, some took more steps than the others, some took even more steps….

Upon reaching at the brightness of the tunnel, some say okay, let me just hide at the corner where I can see the light but where I can’t be seen.

Are you one of them? I honestly am.

I am working on being in my power and allowing myself to shine and stop hiding. I confess I am WIP.

Are you too? My coach always ask, who is the person in the world, waiting for you to take that step? How many people are waiting for you to take that step and “help” them? (not literal help ok, I mean being a beacon is also help. A beacon is a source of hope. Are you willing to shine and be that beacon today?

Do you believe in synchronicity?

I do.

And I don’t mean a fairy tale story about saving a prince and marrying him, or kissing some frogs.

Synchronicity to me, is about staying in a flow, allowing myself to be guided, while checking in if it’s my truth.

In my original plan for the week, I planned to go yoga and meet Friend A at PLQ for Starbucks and dinner at Yakiniku Like (sedap!). There was a change, I met that friend on Monday and as a result couldn’t go for yoga. So I made a resolute to go on Wednesday.

So the new plan was to meet on Wednesday at Suntec to try Sukiya before my yoga.

Guess what, if we had followed through our original plan to meet on Wednesday, we would have incidentally, met 2 other friends at Starbucks at PLQ.

What happened in reality was this.

10:30 Friend B asked if I’m free for lunch, I was.

13:00 Post-lunch I felt like he should be meeting Friend A, and asked if he was.

14:00 Friend B met Friend C at PLQ Starbucks and decided maybe it’s true to meet after all.

16:30 I text my yoga teacher that I planned to go for the 8pm class and he told me the later class has been converted to a private session. Ok no yoga.

Finally. Later that night, A, B, C and me all met at for dinner. 2 things transpired and 1 thought passed my mind.

My thought: Oh, it’s A and C who needs to meet and talk about this. The first thing that transpired is we learnt of a new life game from C and second, A invited C to consider this workshop.

I validated this with A and B. They agreed.

State now—> mind blow. So trusting and following the flow has its reason. We just need to ask if it’s our truth and follow.

Only sin of the night: Oreo milkshake

Experience Divinity as a Whole

What if life is not about hard lessons, not about returning karmas, but about experiencing divinity?

I ordered a gig from Shivany on Fiverr and she wrote this:
“When our Soul chooses a “lesson”, it’s not so much that we “learn” or “grow”. It’s so that the Soul can once again experience itself as Divine within its human lifetime.”

I was talking it through with my Soul Sister over a sumptuous Japanese lunch (that is probably a little extravagant) and the message I received is that Life is about experiencing Divinity as a whole.

I read some and have this collective idea that, prior to our human lifetimes as souls, as angels.. etc. we were unable to experience emotions fully as humans. So in our bid to experience emotions, we came to earth to truly feel it as a whole. And the more we experience, the fuller the circle of wholeness becomes. In this idea, it doesn’t mean experiencing the same emotions over and over again. The key word is new experiences. Going through the same cycle over and over again is bad attitude and it doesn’t count for this. New.

Flowers, flowers, are you really that sweet?

The day after Valentine’s day and the husband didn’t give me flowers, even though its out first V day during our first year of marriage. It goes to show… that probably I didn’t want flowers after all lolz. (I’m suddenly thankful that my husband doesn’t care for reading much, so he wont be reading this.)

Valentine Day flowers are over priced and expensive, I don’t really get the hype and I don’t really like a huge bunch of flowers. When I got married, the huge beautiful flower bouquet meant that I had to turn on the aircon and humidifier for a week. So tiring, though the flowers are very chio.

So this CNY, I bought myself 2 stalks of Kenya roses for $12, they are so chio and dainty. I love them.

To the gentlemen’s out there who are scratching your heads about a women’s obsession’s with flowers, please note the below.
1. If you give flowers regularly, you do not have to buy huge expensive flowers
2. Unless your wife likes showing off the flowers, its not nice having to lug it around orchard round after a romantic meal. Big doesn’t always mean better
3. If your wife asks for flowers and you refuse to give them, it will come a time where she will ask you for expensive bags or holidays instead. Do your math
4. To get extra buck for your dollar, go select your own flowers. For the same amount of money you are paying, your women will appreciate that you took time to ponder over your gift for her. In this day and age, any women can buy flowers for herself (everyday!), so as the old clique goes, its the effort that counts.
5. Before you give the flowers to your partner, you can look at the flowers and send the love you have for your partner to the flowers (imagine the flowers like an ang bao to store your envelope of affection), your partner will receive it.
6. Lastly man, know this. You get extra points whenever someone comments about the flowers. And it is easy these days with social media.